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December 22, 2011 / themrtinney

My Son The Multitasker… or… Txt kill txt

I have gone on a tangent about my son’s teenage tendencies, so it is only fair that I share some of his awesomeness as well.

My son has hand eye coordination that will someday make him either an expert archer, high-speed racecar driver, or video game mogul.  I am pushing for the last one because I would probably benefit more (hey – Nascar 2020 will probably be a fully submersed, 3D experience!).

Anyway… my son is so awesome he can play Skyrim on PS3, eat unhealthy foods, and text two girls with complete success in all three activities.  It looks and sounds something like this:

Slurp of cup of noodles (some drippage) – score 1,200 milligrams of salt.

Nearly drop noodles to grab un-paused video game controller, kill some guy with remarkably well rendered bad skin, and harvest a rabbit without skipping a beat.

“Buzz” sound – cell phone – drop controller – laugh (must have been funny) – text Girl 1.

“Buzz” sound – PS3 controller vibrating on couch – Boy is under attack by large Liken Wolfman creature with claws like razor blades.  Cell phone stays in left hand – controller goes in right – ward off beast with shield while reading text form Girl 2 (Buzz’d simultaneously with PS3 controller – almost missed).

Drop phone – slurp cup of noodles (major drippage) – score 58% of recommend daily allowance of carbs.

Slam soup down a little too firmly -(minor splash).  Two hand PS3 controller – destroy liken with only small damage to character (I think he lost a spleen or something, but shakes it off).

“Buzz” – Girl 1 texting in – drop PS3 controller – “Buzz” – Girl 2 texting in.  Texting one or both, not sure.  “Buzz” – PS3 controller – saber tooth tiger attacking.

Boy drops controller and yells, “Fail!  Rage quit!”  He proceeds to slurp and text in turn without choking… at least he has his priorities right:  Girl 1, Girl 2, sustenance, and gaming.  Chip off the old block.

I often wonder what it would look like if the concert of motions became confused… say, if there was a momentary skip in his coordination, you might get:

“Buzz” – Girl 1 texting.  Slurps cell phone, slams soup with thumb, penetrating styrofoam container.  Attempts, futiley, to text on PS3 controller, and crushes cell phone screen trying to recover.  Yells “Fail!  Rage quit!” and goes to bed.

I might pay to see that one….

G bye


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  1. Online Affiliates / Dec 23 2011 1:19 am

    Another great post today

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