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April 1, 2012 / themrtinney

My day at Costco… or… I’ll have the 100 count bagels, please!

CostcoSam’s Club.  The thought provokingly named BJ‘s.  These warehouse shopping centers are a misanthrope’s nightmare and a kleptomaniac’s dream.

I was at Costco today to “pick up a few things” when I realized I probably spend more time in Costco than even, gulp, the dreaded Wal-Mart.  The place is big enough to land a Cessna in and probably sells one, at a low, low price, in a remote area I’ve yet to discover.  Next time I’ll get that optional map and find it.

Where else can one go and purchase 500 lbs. of Baby Bell cheese, a much-needed $2,999.00 grill, and a vacation for four at a discount in one stop?  Wal-Mart has been trumped.  Costco’s theory, obviously, is that you should be able to buy everything needed to clothe, feed, and shelter a small country… at a low, low price.

I am beginning to realize that I spend a large percentage of my time and money at Costco.  If you throw Wal-Mart into the calculation I might as well call shopping my life pursuit.  When, I pondered, when did this begin?  (insert flashback harp music and blurry scene smoke here)

Children.  Where, except Costco and such, can one obtain 4,000 diapers and 52,000,000 butt wipes (scented!) on a pallet for, you guessed it, a low, low price?  First it was baby stuff.  Then toddler needs (Look, Honey, a beautiful stroller with built-in DVD player and garden tools!).  We are now painfully entering the teenage years with similar gusto…  15lb. buckets of Noxzema skin wipes and PS3 bundles with night vision goggles.

Don’t get me wrong!  I, too, have fallen prey to the Costco approach of hoarding…er… bulk purchasing.  Let’s just say I won’t be running out of baked beans this year!

So, the next time you visit a big warehouse superstore be sure and bring plenty of funding… you never know when they’ll finally get that lifetime supply of Q-tips or 100lb. bucket of high quality dishwasher tabs… at a low, low price of course.


Leave a Comment
  1. Kenneth320 / Apr 1 2012 1:53 pm

    You forgot Costco’s amazingly cheap, yet delicious pizza and hotdogs. My favorite thing about them.

  2. HaLin / Apr 4 2012 6:35 am

    52 million butt pipes is, well, a lot of shi*ting. All hail Costco!

    (PS: Wonder if you sent this to the Costco guys as feedback.)

  3. HaLin / May 1 2012 12:55 am

    Taking a break from writing, sire? Hope to see you back soon.

    • mrtinney / May 1 2012 12:44 pm

      still alive but distracted! Sent from my Droid Charge on Verizon 4G LTE

    • mrtinney / Jul 14 2012 11:32 pm

      “Break” seems to be a permanent disability.

      • HaLin / Jul 15 2012 1:32 am

        Sporadic bouts of permanent disability, hopefully. 🙂

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