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July 8, 2017 / themrtinney

Saturday musings… or … the power of a good crap

Ever taken (took? done?) an official super-crap?  Whoa there… before you click off onto the next blog about kittens and honey badgers chasing butterflies, I think you should consider facing some reality today with MrTinney’s Saturday musings.  Don’t be afraid.  Or maybe you should:

—Had a BM yesterday that required so much time and effort, I had to have a sandwich after to restore my strength.  If you’ve never done a Publishers Clearing House type “go” before, I pity you.  It should come with a prize.  Other than the obvious stuff you get…

—Why do they call it pole vaulting instead of “self flinging”?

—I missed work yesterday because I was sick.  I get sick a lot, but the one thing I finally learned is that when you are sick you need to stay in bed… not run off to work like some super-hero complete with cape, fever and tissues.  I use to do that, and get everybody sick.  Now I don’t and annoy everybody because I’m sick and don’t show up.  I’ll take option B.

—The biggest thing in the news today is Trump and the Russians.  Meanwhile, I have a dog with an unknown mass on her leg that looks like her brain relocated on the outside of her body.  This thing might battle Pluto to get back in line for qualification as a planet.  I guess my point is, blah blah blah news channels – talk about something at my level, like super BMs.

—Both of my ‘children’ are away today doing something with their friends, leaving my bride and I a practice run at empty nesting.  We’re going to Costco to buy a pallet of Q-tips.

—This is the current President of the United States of America and a Doge.  Do with this information as you wish.

donald-trumpdoge

—I was once a janitor but had to quit my job because the owner of the establishment I cleaned insisted on giving me a fifteen minute lesson on how the toilet paper should be hung in the bathroom stalls.  It involved a five-minute speech on the origin of toilet paper, an instructional video, and some uncomfortable shoulder to shoulder moments in a stall practicing.  So which is it, Under or Over?

—For those who need it, I leave you with this and wish you a great weekend complete with a healthy BM:

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