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April 10, 2019 / themrtinney

Silence of the mice…

mouseI don’t always write product reviews, but when I do, you can be damn skippy it’s a GREAT PRODUCT.  The last product review I did was for a cigar, and I only did that because the cigar was really good and so was the 1/2 bottle of whiskey I had before writing the review.  I don’t remember the whole thing but the words “hell yeah!” were definitely in there multiple times and probably a couple of “yups” as well.

Any way, I recently purchased the “Logitech “Silent Mouse.”  Let me tell you, there’s nothing that get’s an OCD freak with severe Tinnitus twitching faster than an unnecessary and unceasing noise. Unless it is complete silence.  Complete silence is brutal.

Click, click CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK – Didn’t like that did you?  No big deal you say?  Reading it doesn’t count – you have to sit next to me while I’m doing it – it’s like waterboarding without the gagging.  And no water.  There’s also no board… but it’s just as irritating.  To me it sounds like two champion Clogging dancers double-time performing the drum beat to Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna’ Take It!” on a tin floor in a 2’x2′ cubical with a sound proof ceiling during a hangover.  My hangover, not theirs, although they might be I wouldn’t have time to ask.

Yup – that little click in a confined office space is LOUD.  NO Longer… this silent mouse has all the click feel and none of the click real (yes – I just went there).  Here are my favorite features:

  • No click noise
  • Clicks – without the noise
  • Fricking silent clicking
  • You push the mouse button down and when it would normally click… you get the idea

It’s kind of like de-barking a dog.  I am not advocating de-barking your dog.  Maybe my neighbor’s dog, but not yours.  Unless you’re my neighbor… if you are stop reading two-sentences ago.  Anyway, below is my full review on the Amazon website, which will be removed by the time this post is finished because Amazon lacks a sense of humor… but has some pretty silent mice (mouses?).

Review:

It’s Awesome Sauce – This mouse is silent. No clicking. You could waterboard this mouse while threatening unsavory ways to harm its family… and it would stay silent. The review form asked about portability: yes – you can carry it around. I’m not sure if Amazon thought this thing was extremely heavy, but if they looked in their own description they would see it’s advertised as quite small and portable. Anyway, I would have paid twice what I paid for this mouse for the silence of the darn thing (did I mention it’s silent? I called it every name in the book and pushed it around for hours and it was just as stoic from the first click to the last). What else can I say? Oh – BONUS! BOTH the left AND the right button are silent, not just one. I know right? Buy… this… mouse… unless you value CLICKING CLICKING CLICKING CLICKING (insert CLICKING forever here).  

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